Many changes have been swirling around us in the world lately. I have finally turned off my television because there is too much bad news out there and not nearly enough stories of hope and the promise of stronger rebound. A couple of days ago I was talking to one of the members of our staff and explaining that adversity is not always the pit of doom that it seems at first glance. I have fallen more than once from what I thought was the ultimate position in life for me and each time I have bounced back higher than I was before. Sometimes people have to hit the ground hard before they can be prepared for the higher levels of blessings available to them when rebound occurs. Although there has been complete devastation in New Orleans and the surrounding areas, rest assured the people there will be given even more than they had before. The city will be restored more beautifully and the levee system will be forged so that this type of disaster can be avoided in the future. On a recent trip to New York this was proven. Go there and visit the site of the World Trade Center, formerly known as Ground Zero. The people of New York are changing the name in preparation for new, more magnificent buildings to represent hope and steadfast belief in the strength of the human spirit. The people of New York are warm and welcoming of visitors and are happy to see us Southerners enjoying their beautiful city. The tragic events of September 11, 2001 served as a huge wake-up call for New York, and there is a palpable difference in people there. Of course nothing will be the same as before for people recovering from any type of disaster, but renewal brings with it the promise of something better.
I spent a large part of my life resisting change. I finally learned, however, that change is inevitable and the true test of emotional maturity is how one reacts to change. In writing recently about managing stress I realized that one of the best ways to reduce life’s stresses is to be the cause of change rather than always being the buffer for the effects of it. In learning in my own life to be the cause of change I have come to embrace it and to grow at a faster rate as the result of it. If being in a comfort zone all the time is what we expect from life, certain stagnation will follow. No growth can occur when everything remains the same. Stagnation breeds complacency and complacency opens the doors for us to be blindsided.
I receive the newsletter from my church in Savannah each month, and a recent issue contains a parable that I am borrowing for my column this week. The story is told of a young woman whose complaints to her mother were that she could not go on because her life was so full of problems. She said she was tired of struggling. Her mother took her to the kitchen, filled three pots with water, and put them on a high fire to boil. In one she placed a carrot, in one and egg, and in one some ground coffee beans. After the pots boiled for a short time the mother fished out the carrot and placed it on the drain board, then the egg, and finally she ladled out the coffee into a cup. The mother then explained that each of these things had experienced the same stress (boiling water), yet each reacted differently.
The carrot was initially strong and firm. However, after being subjected to the boiling water it became soft and weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. After sitting in the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique. After they were in the boiling water they actually changed the water rather than succumbing to the effects of the water and allowing it to change them. Straining the ground coffee beans left water flavored with delicious coffee and the ground beans were still intact.
”You can choose which you want to be like,” she told her daughter. “Adversity knocks on your door. How do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”
In dealing with the various outside influences that disrupt the smooth flow of our lives, it truly is our choice how we respond to them. Internal stress is often the result of feeling out of control of our circumstances. If we focus on being in control and at cause rather than at effect, we can all flourish and prosper in the face of adversity.
Will you be the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity becomes weak and wilts? Will you be the egg that starts with a fluid spirit and soft heart but with exposure to the heat becomes stiff and hardened? Or will you be like the ground coffee beans? The crushed beans actually change the hot water (the very circumstances that brought trauma). It is only with the hot water that the beans release the true gifts of their aroma and flavor.
Like everyone else, I have made some difficult choices in my life. It might have been easier for me to take a quiet job where I would blend in with everyone else, but something drives me to be a voice for change and to help others to make a significant difference in their daily experiences. I could have been a general practitioner in the medical field and been accepted by everyone just because of my title, but I chose the “red headed stepchild” (my apologies to the lovely redheads out there) of the health care providers. It is sometimes difficult being a chiropractor and having always to defend my position but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. There is nothing better than changing the water for me. Treat your spirit well.